I am so GLAD that it is going to be my 18th birthday in a month, but that is also what scares me because I'll legally be an ADULT then. Which I have wanted to be an adult for so long but now that I am almost there it actually scares me and it's just like what am I going to do from here it just scares me plan and simple. So I am excited and terrified at the same time. There are so many things I want to do before it's to later. Like people how I really feel about them before it's to later and there gone. Especailly Maxwell because he is my hero.
I feel like I am going nuts between my senior year of high school whinding down with very few days left before graduation it has my minds gears are speeding out of control, having the new job a dominos pizza it's wearing me out physically, then dance has just drained me emotionally on a whole new level, and I'm only 17 so I don't want to be grown up yet. I think that this is why I have had five migrains in the last three days and why I actually broke down yesterday after dance. I am starting to think the worst the stress I have to deal with is the worst the my clausetraphobia effects me and the more I am effect by me phobia the crazier my emotions get. That is my Theory on how I'm feeling. I honestly want to know if my mom understands what it feels like to me right now if I were to stop some thing right now it would be dance because it has gotten in the way of just about everything and I honestly mean EVERYTHING!
What did I think of the photo three class? Photo three was awesome class in general. I would have liked alot more freedom on projects so I could do things on my own. I also would have liked even more time on projects so I could have made even bigger and better products. So I guess what I am asking you for is more big projects and less mini projects. I love the fact that I you made suggestions and stuff like that, but I feel that it should be more like drawing and painting where we made up our own projects. instead of being told what we have to do. I think that is part of the reason why my grade hasn't been so good this last quarter because you started to take away alot of the freedom that we had 3rd quarter like when we were making the books that was a pretty free styled project and I loved the creative choice projects. I feel you were probably getting frustrated with the slackers at the middle table because of there lack of work done during the work time. So that is probably why you took away extra time from our class even though it may have hurt my grade a bit at times. So I kinda feel my grade shouldn't hurt because I need more time because I am trying to make a change through my all ofthese amazing projects will make a difference some day.
What did I learn? Well other then the fact that I learned the middle table doesn't like the same music as me, Partick, Cassie, and Mr.Ryf. I learned alot I found new ways to combine my photograph with my art. I figured out that I think way to far outside the box at time and I kinda learned how to tame all my amazingly crazy ideas that are alot more realistic projects. I learned that there are more things that I can do with photographs then just taking them and matting them. I also learned that being a photographic journalist could be really fun job for an photographer to try out. I also learned that there are so many different ways to alter photos on adobe photoshop cs2 and that I can do more to photographs on a computer the I can in the dark room alone. I also think you should know that I have been inspired by Lewis Hine's photography since I've known who he is and he is the reason I take most of my pictures the way I do I always try to think how could my picture change the world some way. I learn that I really suck at the that last darkroom project where we were suppost minipulate our negatives the reason I never handed it mine in is because I kept messing mine up but I know that I can do a what I was trying to do in the darkroom on the computer. I learned that I can put together projects that are so good that they could even cause my mom to cry like my mom her surprise collage. I learned that there are tons of ways to use photos like for patches, and newspapers.
What do I think should be changed? I know that you have no control over who's in the classes, but I feel that if you could have a way to divid up the annoying cliques in classes the would be less noise and more diligent work getting done. Cause you know I don't mind a nice coffee clutch myself, but I honestly I really hated the fact that the middle table was always have there own little coffee clutch every single day of the week. I think Photo 3 would be better as a year round class if your going to do so many big project and mini project, but then again if you had some more of the very devoted students like a bit less half of our class was I think that if you had the extra class time the products could be even better. Then again the students would all have to be quite devoted. I like the check sheets like normal but I think they would work even better if you made one Master Check Sheet for the whole semester so that the students can move at there own pace and it would also prevent the darkroom rushes which would be better for claustraphobic students like me. The darkroom rushes actually scare me because that means and however many of people in close quarters which being that close to people I don't know is extremely terrifying for me, because being that close makes me feel like I 'm being smothered and I know that may sound a bit dramatic but that is honestly what the darkroom rushes feel like for me. Which is probably why I avoided the darkroom this year even though I love big in the darkroom. That is why I honest think you should really consider having the one Master Check Sheet and it would save paper too, bonus. I'm sorry if couldn't already tell I've become a real environmentalist over this last year so.
Thank you for reading my journal I hope that this could help you in your planning for next year. Oh and I was mainly just joking when I was riping on the middle table, but they did annoy me quite a bit especially when I had masive migranes I swear I wanted to scream sometimes. I hope that you will keep in contact so you can keep this journal cause I have it online. Here are some ways to contact me over the summer, home phone 426-9523, cell phone 203-0833, and my email a.charchar@yahoo.com
